Thursday, August 27, 2009

Wife Swap

Do ya ever watch Wife Swap? It's one of the shows that I dump into that "train wreck" category. You shouldn't watch, but ya just can't help it!!! I----just----can't----look -----away.

So I pondered the whole Wife Swapping idea and I came up with a thought....wife - shoot, let's swap husbands. I will swap my man for the gay couple husband. I think it would be a good deal. I need help getting my hair colored. and picking out clothes. And cleaning the house. And rearranging the house.

My hubby is a good outside yard man's man kind of guy. Not a beer swigging pootin and belchin' kind, but a good, honey I take care of the yard kind. Warning, he says things are broken, when they aren't, they just aren't working (ie batteries) but aside from that he doesn't come with a big owners manual. (Ya know how the one wife always leaves a manual for the other wife..)

And then I got to thinking. (Shocking.) What would I declare as the Dub House Rules in my manual if I ever did Wife Swap?

1- Kids do homework before anything else when they get home from school. Snack while ya work. (That's not a big shocking kind of revelation)
2- Kids help with the chores and no they don't get paid to do chores. Nobody pays me.
3- Soccer practice carpool for Pootie once a week. Hubby handles Crash's transportation (he's the coach so it only makes sense) Soccer on weekends.
4- Spring time Lola plays soccer too. Add that to the schedule.
5- Speaking of schedules, keep one on the fridge.
6- Pack as nutritious a lunch as possible for 3 kids.

yeah - we are BORING!!!! I don't feed the dogs on the counter top.. don't make hubby sleep in the garage because I like my dogs better. (ok, maybe every once in a while I might want to send him to the garage). We don't dress in coat and tie for dinner, nor do we eat fast food off of paper plates every night. I don't live in a dirt hut because I am super enviromental, nor do I live like a queen who goes to workout every morning (although the working out part isn't a bad thing.)

I'm BORING. I have no gimmick.

I need a gimmick.

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